I am a graduate of Sage Femme Midwifery School.  I was a doula for several years.  Then I had my own children and couldn't live on call any longer.  

Last month my little sister told me she was pregnant.  And during the course of that conversation, she learned that I am a doula.  Because I am almost 20 years older than she is, while I was in California living with the director of Sage Femme, going to homebirths, and then working back home as a doula, she wasn't really aware of my life.

She didn't know I am a doula.  This is searing to me.  It showed me, not that my sister and I aren't close so much as, I've been so busy mothering, my identity as a midwifery student fell away.   Because I didn't continue to choose birth, life chose different for me.   This conversation happened the week I brought my cow home.  It rocked me to the core.  I am not a doula?  I am only a cowgirl?  But that is absurd.

In fact, I am a doula.  I do need to catch up on current literature.  I need to do lunch with a few midwives and re-up my association dues.  But I am a doula.  I can be a cowgirl and a doula.  Because:  ta da!  My kids are getting bigger.  They don't need me so much anymore.  I am free to expand my reach.   I can choose for myself, thank you.   Where life so kindly thought to choose for me.   

Today an old friend and I began discussion of opening a new doula service.   Its like being struck by the sweetest lightening.  Of course.  That's what I am.  That's what she is.  Of course, this is what we should do.   And sitting here thinking of what the business would entail and what I need to review, I feel the power of my years.  I am older.  I am less current on the research.  And deeper on the understanding.  I see now, what I didn't then.  Birth is more about psychology than heart tones and complete blood counts.  Seeing it, articulating it, knowing it to my core, I am so ready for this.  "Let the wild rumpus begin!"