You know that feeling of being so excited and happy and scared at the same time?   Its an anxious sort of happy scared.  That's the feeling I have right now.   We just chose a cow and made a plan to buy her - this friday or the next.  I am actually so excited and scared that I'm not exactly sure what I've exactly agreed to- what day or anything.  I just know its what I've been wanting and it should be good and I've done it so I hope its right.   And it happens on a nearing Friday.

Why so scared?  Because I am pouring time and money into a project that might fail.  And which will require me to deal, on a daily basis, with an animal that may weigh upwards of 1500 pounds.   And I don't know what I am doing.  And I might do it wrong. 

So, I try to smile.  I relax.  I attempt something like faith.  I try to remember to breath normally.  I put sweet potatoes in the oven, steam some green beans, heat up the roast pork and douse it with good home made bar-b-que sauce.   I wait for my lovely husband to come home.  I walk the rainy woods with the children.  I finish the laundry.   And in so doing, I calm down.  I remind myself that fear of failure is no reason not to try.