October 12, 2009

You know that feeling of being so excited and happy and scared at the same time?   Its an anxious sort of happy scared.  That's the feeling I have right now.   We just chose a cow and made a plan to buy her - this friday or the next.  I am actually so excited and scared that I'm not exactly sure what I've exactly agreed to- what day or anything.  I just know its what I've been wanting and it should be good and I've done it so I hope its right.   And it happens on a nearing Friday.

Why so scared?  Because I am pouring time and money into a project that might fail.  And which will require me to deal, on a daily basis, with an animal that may weigh upwards of 1500 pounds.   And I don't know what I am doing.  And I might do it wrong. 

So, I try to smile.  I relax.  I attempt something like faith.  I try to remember to breath normally.  I put sweet potatoes in the oven, steam some green beans, heat up the roast pork and douse it with good home made bar-b-que sauce.   I wait for my lovely husband to come home.  I walk the rainy woods with the children.  I finish the laundry.   And in so doing, I calm down.  I remind myself that fear of failure is no reason not to try.

6 comments:

Hillary Mac said...

You go, sister. I believe in you.

Cecelia (CC) said...

I think it's called courage....and you have it in spades.

xox

Anonymous said...

Yeah, it's good, an adventure. You're not reckless, and if things don't go well, you can re-evaluate. I admire your guts, K. love, V

MOM #1 said...

Your words ring so true right now. I really need to hear them . . . it's funny how internet friendships can give you just what you need without the endless dribble you don't, LOL.

And Cece'ia's right, it is called courage and I just know you have tons.

Can't wait to see the photos. I'm all about the visual.

Cecelia (CC) said...

any news???

eager to hear.

Katherine said...

Mom#1, I love this: "it's funny how internet friendships can give you just what you need without the endless dribble you don't, LOL." That is so true sometimes. :o)

And all'y'all, thank you. The support I get from each one of you is unique and important to me.

And in any case, the anxiety is giving way to realism. And that is always a good thing. We are trying to work out the details of getting her home. And this is taking more time than we thought. Here, I'll just move up and say this in a post and, yes Mom#1, put up pictures! love, K