My girl, she is exhausted. We have been house sitting for the afore mentioned friends. Its a hard gig because not only do you have to feed the dogs and water the plants, you have to keep swimming in the pool and running around the woods and jumping off the obscenely high zip line. It wears a person out. But we are good friends and we do our best.

This morning Ry was just cranky as a summer hornet. She awoke, ate, and just could not muster her usual cheer. I finally carried her off to the sleeping porch, nestled her in some fluffy down, and there among the shading, morning dappled, gently bobbing Redbud leaves pressed her into talking.

"I can't tell you why I am upset because it will hurt your feelings." "Oh you can tell me, I am a grown up and I can take it." Sobbing, "Sometimes I think I don't love you but I know that is not true because I had a dream where you died and I could feel your love being torn away."

These moments represent some of my favorite challenges of parenting. Here is a moment where you really do need to say the right thing. Quickly, you have to figure out what the right thing is, then you have to deliver it with the care of a heart surgeon. This is heart surgery. Here you get the opportunity to speak directly into their dear and open hearts. Better still, here is a moment to offer real ease, to release real suffering. That does not happen very often.

She claims these feelings have nothing what so ever to do with my friend who is so ill. No matter. All children wrestle with these issues. And what did I say? Painfully, I resisted the temptation to say I will never die, never be taken from her, never never never ever be separated from her. Instead I said simply, "I am here. I love you so much. That will never change. All of your feelings are completely normal." Then I quietly held her. And I thought to myself how sometimes words can covey so much more than their mere definitions. Sometimes when you say "I am here" you are not only stating a fact but opening a portal into an undefinable infinite truth. I am here holding you. My soul is here with yours. This can not be undone. And I think that truth is where the comfort resides. We are more than we can say.
parenting