April 15, 2011

Allan and Chris raised five born children. And 25 adopted or fostered kids. Allan has a lot to say about parenting. The most moving of which is that in his opinion God gives birth parents very specific knowledge about their specific children. He says this is the loss of adoption, parenting blind without that critical specific insight into each specific child.

This comforts him as a grandparent. Because his children frequently make different choices for their children than he would. They have different boundaries and varying levels of acceptable risk. But he is completely certain and settled in his heart, after 40 years of parenting, that while parents can be flawed their wisdom is sacred.

He also believes that diversity is God given and sacred.

This wonderful as it removes judgment and allows for very spacious individuality and room to love each child (and parent) as they are. Not only does this comfort me when I see parenting with which I disagree. It also bolsters my confidence when I'm called on to make decisions for you kids.

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