November 10, 2008

I'm going to Jackson. Jackson City. New Jack. Baby Jack Jack. Jack be nimble. (And Quick.) Jackdaw. Jacobite. Andrew Jackson. Jack Saunders. (Winne-the-Pooh lived under the name of Saunders.) Jack Black. Jack Johnson. Jack Daniels. Jackie Chan. Jackson Browne. Jackson Pollack. Jack Nicholson. Jack It Up. Jack In The Box. Uncle Jack. Jackson Hole. Jesse Jackson. Samuel Jackson! Flap Jack.
Apple Jack. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Jack of Hearts.

I am sleeping on the couch right now. Because I would never crate a dog. And, in my controversial way, I don't mind saying that people who crate dogs are ill. They tend to be the kind of people who treat their dogs as possessions - as decorations for their life. And really, when you think about it, as decorations that rate somewhere just under their homes, in status. Don't come whining to me about "caves" and "wolves" and "they feel safe." Bull-fucking-shit, if they felt safe, you wouldn't have to TRAIN them to stay there, now would you? These tend to be people with Control Issues, yes?

Ahem. So, I am sleeping on the couch because my bed is upstairs and the door is downstairs and my puppy needs to go out to pee about as often as new born babies get up to nurse at night. And good mothers get up with babies to care for them. That's what babies need, so that's what mothers do. And I mention this for two reasons.

One is that at about 3am last night, Baby Jack Jack Apple Jack Jackson, came inside from peeing and I almost drifted back to sleep. When, for reasons unknown to me, I lifted my head and turned to look. Jackson was sitting with his nose to the oil-filled radiant heater, warming his ears. The tiny red on light was illuminating his silhouette. He looked like Anne Lamott's, Sam. He looked just exactly like Snoopy. And he looked like the curious and dear baby that he is. I was filled with maternal gratitude. For this is what good mothers do, they notice their children in all the normally invisible moments. This is the golden exchange of motherhood. We bare witness. If we are looking and if we care. And in this way, we are re payed for all the trouble and time. Because, so often, there love is revealed.

Secondly, parenting is parenting is parenting is parenting. The cow, the puppy, the old cat, the kittens, chicks, the children, my lessons are the same. And the more I work with the animals, the better I get with the humans. (I hope.) Moreover, the children get to see the process first hand. And they get to practice.

We all have a bit of a crush on Cesar Milan, The Dog Whisperer. My sexy husband does an EXCELLENT impersonation. He swings around the kitchen with his chest full and proud and says, "Calm Assertive..shhht!" While making a sharp pinching motion with his fingers. I don't know exactly why this is so very hysterical to me. But I fall to pieces laughing every time Cesar appears in my kitchen. What is not one bit funny, though just as dear, is that the original "Puppy Williams" is taking all this in. My son now has all day, for the next several months, to practice Calm Assertive. Just the man training this kid needs. And he's getting it fast too.

So here are my morning ruminations about pets, children, parenting and even, yes, unschool. We all ran laughing through the crisp fall leaves in the forest this morning. As Jackson's ears flapped their hardest and the children's laughter filled all the spaces left in the trees from the fallen leaves and the neighbor's sad sullen gated dogs barked their envy, I was struck by all the parallels of our locked chained gated closed lonely sad society.

But I was the only one with those dark thoughts. The creatures, animal and human, around me know no such, and their joyful noise was the clearest of all.

10 comments:

K said...

Ginny Ford, Dear, you are an exception. : ) love, K

Anonymous said...

I think I snorted through my nose turning my read of this post and it could have been about the time you said "bull fucking shit".

I can't say that crating a dog ever made much sense to me but then "doing to" an animal (child/spouse/friend) like this just doesn't make sense if you want an authentic outcome.

Dogs take so much patient time and work (especially at the beginning) but if you take that time to help them find a place in your lives it's easier in the long run.

I don't know why I'm going on and on without much direction or closure but it's too true the parallels in relationships. Thanks for the post I really enjoyed it!

Anonymous said...

I loved this post too. I agree about crating dogs, but we do crate ours sometimes. I won't make excuses though because we do feel bad about it and we're trying to work with her as much as possible in other ways. Funny enough though, we never had to crate train her. If the crate is around with the door open, she tends to sleep in there and when we're in strange places she seeks it out. We only actually lock the door when we have guests and she's being aggressive (she was a rescue). I prefer to keep her on a leash and keep her close to me and help her learn what she should be doing instead of growling and attacking, but it's hard at times with a 15 month old too.

That being said, we used to cosleep with her. She slept in our bed when she was still a baby and she was the one who stopped sleeping in it of her own volition. In fact, I used to try and get her to come on the bed with us at night because I missed cuddling with her, and she would get right off. Now she doesn't even want to sleep in our bedroom. I've always been struck by the parallels between raising dogs and children and how society sees each. Yes, they are two different creatures, with different instincts and different behaviours, but they are all deserving of love and respect.

We have been using a lot of Cesar Milan's advice in training her, and it seems to be helping a lot. I was going to apply to his show, but unfortunately he doesn't come to Canada! Anyway, now I'm rambling. You have a very lucky puppy there. :)

MOM #1 said...

We've been using a crate since we moved to a tiny little place with no yard, but hopefully after Christmas, we can move back to a great big place with a yard. I hate to put my doggy in the crate, but luckily it's huge and he likes to go in there to get away from my very loud child and spouse. He also likes to nap in there, because he's a silly little doggy. *SIGH* I hope I'm not an ill person. Decisions, decisions, decisions.

Anonymous said...

I'ver never crated a dog either, and I currently have 5 dogs over 60 lbs living in my nice clean house. The only time they're in a crate is in the back of a truck., and then, only if the truck doesn't have a canopy on it. I also think "clicker training" is stupid. And all those "horse whisperer" idiots. Basically, anyone who doesn't just raise a pet the same way you'd raise a kid, with a lot of common sense, boundaries and positive reinforcement.

gaela said...

Geez katbird, now I feel kind of bad. I did try for a couple of days to "crate" my puppy about two years ago, (as was suggested to me by someone I trusted). However, I ended up putting out those training pads then hoping for the best. How about "diapers for doggies"? I did clean up alot of pee though, and I didn't mind at all, for Matisse was my new baby. His 2nd b'day is on Saturday- but I won't have his party at Chuck-ee-Cheese. And you have my word on that.

Anonymous said...

OK, gotta jump in on this one. Our dog Lucky LOVES his crate and is completely lost without it. I HATE the damn thing, bc our bedroom does not have the space for a big crate, but whenever I break it down and take out his dog bed and shove the metal contraption under the bed, he starts shaking and whining and pacing. He does not sleep well without it and paces all night long. As soon as I put it back together and put his bed in it, he gets in, turns around and around and around and sighs as he lies down. Now, our other two dogs HATE crates, and cannot be put in one for love or money (or a dog bone). To each his own! And I do believe that it is a great training tool for kind, caring folk who have to go to work durning the day and cannot let the dog out every two hours. They are family members, but they are dogs as well.

Love!
Xenia

K said...

Xenia! I'm flattered to pieces that you are here AND that you comment AND that you disagree.

I have watched you raise enough babies for enough years to guess that you didn't crate train Lucky. Did you? It sounds like he needs it now. And I can't see any problem with that what so ever. I bet dimes to dollars that you never close the door on him. Unless he is truly neurotic?

But I think people who have to leave dogs in cages all day, just shouldn't have dogs. Why have a dog at all? But then, I feel the same way about babies. Why have a baby just to plop it in day care? It's an act of selfishness, if you ask me. Which, I've noticed, NO ONE asks me. :) Oh well...

Anonymous said...

Hello my dear,

Issues with children and animals are the most likely topics to get people going! I agree to a certain point that having animals only to crate them all day is not ideall. But, if you take animal ownership and animal welfare down to another level, is it not better to have an animal in a loving home, crated so that it can stay in that loving home, rather than in a shelter on the way to being euthanized? And, if you take it down to another level, we should ALL be responsible enough to spay and neuter our pets and not breed them until all the homeless creatures have found a home. You are an amazing, patient woman, and any creature that finds itself in your path or on your patch of land can truly consider itself lucky!

I did crate Lucky from the get-go, bc he was aggressive and destructive, but he took to the crate quickly - lucky for him bc I don't know that he would be with us otherwise. I have never forced an animal into a crate. It is done slowly and lovingly. Training.

Love ya!

Xenia

K said...

You make a good point, Xenia. If you say that dog had to be crated, I trust you completely. Because I know you and I assume that dog had psychological problems. All tools have their appropriate moments, no?

But all this gets to a deeper concern of mine about animals, children, and old people and how they are all treated in society. I actually make no apologies for euthanasia. Humans took over this role from the predators we eliminated, who did the job before us better, wiser, and probably faster. If some find this job sad, well, it is the way of the world. No matter which predator is doing the killing. The price for life at the top?

Often I do actually think it would be better to put the dog down. But not one of your dogs. You, being an exception of a human being. I try to raise my animals, making the choices for them that I would make for myself.

Anyhow, all this is better discussed over wine. I got your message, but too late. HELL YES I want to get together. We miss you and Ray as well. Dinner, brunch, drinks, what 'ev. Wanna come meet Raspberry? love love love, K