I have many friends. Some are poets. Some are doctors. Some are both. I have one friend who is going to find out today if she has ovarian cancer or not. She has very young children, has known me since we were very young children. I find, I can think of nothing else. For days I have tried to make my children a priority. For days I have prayed thankful thoughts to God. For days I have tried hard to remember and never fail to be thankful for my abundant life. For days my husband has been the only one who knows what I am really thinking. I am fine until I hear his footsteps on the stoop. At that moment my abundant life rushes back in with all my fears in tow and I am definitely Not Fine. Today we will find out what happens next. I go looking for solace while I wait. I find old poetry shared, never published:
School Picture
The wallet-sized photo
Suitable for a small frame
Or for carrying around to show, say,
On a coffee break
Was carefully set on the white pillow
At 1 or 2 AM, this being his 8th birthday
And the day before the last day of our intensive caring.
The mother put the two side by side
To remind us
In no uncertain terms,
that the boy she would bring home to bury
was not the one we suctioned with a tube
but the one who picked out a bright red shirt
on the day for school pictures. ~NP
2 comments:
What a touching poem. There's a commercial for a cancer treatment center that shows a woman talking about her diagnosis with breast cancer. She mentions how she worried about what would happen to her children, and I always cry when I see it. I hope your friend's tests come back negative. I'm sure having a friend that cares as you do is a great help for her during this heartbreaking and scary time in her life.
Thanks Heather. That helps. And it is amazing to me how much blogging helps. Isn't the blog world more layered and richer than you might have thought? It is for me.
She does have cancer. And now it is occurring to me that I am helpless (shock!) and I can't do much. And her life is not my life. And, as much as I want to go set up camp in her living room, I have to keep my life moving on in a positive direction. In so many ways, that will be one of the things I can give her and her family.
Trying to think positive here.... :) .....Of course, this is every mother's worst nightmare. I told her, "Now we have a task. I am on your team. We are going to win. And I love you."
So. On we go, forward.
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