Common Knowledge: a Quick Portrait of a Bully

"Bullying is the intentional tormenting of others through verbal harassment, physical assault, or other more subtle methods of coercion such as manipulation. There is currently no legal definition of bullying.

In colloquial speech, bullying often describes a form of harassment perpetrated by an abuser who possesses more physical and/or social power and dominance than the victim. The victim of bullying is sometimes referred to as a target. The harassment can be verbal, physical and/or emotional.

Research indicates that adults who bully have personalities that are authoritarian, combined with a strong need to control or dominate. It has also been suggested that a deficit in social skills and a prejudicial view of subordinates can be particular risk factors.

Further studies have shown that while envy and resentment may be motives for bullying, there is little evidence to suggest that bullies suffer from any deficit in self esteem (as this would make it difficult to bully).

Researchers have identified other risk factors such as quickness to anger and use of force, addiction to aggressive behaviors, mistaking others' actions as hostile, concern with preserving self image, and engaging in obsessive or rigid actions."

If I were to suddenly realise I was living with a person who fit this description, especially one who also abused alcohol and cocaine, I would feel frightened. I would look for the quickest way out of that relationship.

It is interesting to note that we all, at one time or another, find ourselves embroiled in situations murky and unclear. We have all, at one time or another, loved a person before we saw them clearly. One should be commended for extricating themselves as quickly as understanding could allow. There are legion who never leave. There are many others who take long painful years to leave. There are yet others who introduce children into sketchy situations before they finally leave.

I hereby publicly commend any person who extricates themselves as fast as humanly possible. That shows profound courage and fortitude, not to mention, excellent and sane judgement.