"Hey babe, take a walk on the wild side." I always knew it would be a good day in school, if I had that song stuck in my head. Somehow, that song helped me float through. I think it was the bass line. That, and the promise of an adult life. I got through school on the promise that it would eventually end. And that's it. I knew it would eventually end. So, I got through. And why not? That's basically how I survived my childhood as well. Hey babe, your adult life is headed toward you, and if your childhood is any indication, it may be a walk on the wild side.
I have landed in my adult life with an acute awareness that I Am In Here! (like Dane Cook in the lion's pen.) My childhood was full of loss and absentia. And I'm not bitter. I'm grateful. I am in here and I know it and I never forget it. And with two lovely children.
Do you remember waiting to get out of school? Day by day. Year by relentless year. If we are being honest, hour by hour, we waited to get out. And all over the country, right now, millions of kids are doing nothing but waiting to get out.
Ry walked up today and offered to read to me. She could see I needed a break from the project on which I was working. In a moment, lovely for the layered way it reflected her parenting back to me she said, "Would it help if I read to you?" Yes, yes it would help.
While I was listening to a story about Jack and Annie it occurred to me. Imagine waiting to get out of your life. Unschooled kids skip that, completely. How would that feel? Not waiting? Not knowing a bell. Can you imagine going 18 years without a bell? Take that one in. There is no bell here. We school as often as we learn. And we learn all the time. And that is our life. No bells, no where to leave, no stop time, unaware of demerits.
I am in here with two kids. And now I get through on other songs. Tonight, "For myself, I ask no one else to be Mother to these three." In a flip to a wilder life than I could ever have imagined, for its focus on what is true, real, and loving, I never wait until my kids go away again. Imagine not waiting till your kids go back to school. You are in here.
8 comments:
Gorgeous post, K.
No I can not imagine. It was my whole life, I accepted it, and I fell into homeschooling but now? No I can NOT fathom bells and NO I can not fathom waiting for my child to go back to school. I don't know what that looks like any more. And when parents speak of it, I find it hard to wrap my mind around,anymore. Lovely post.
Mmm, I am song-hexed in the best way.
College is now in question... he he he. Hurrah! This is true progress.
Beautiful, beautiful expression. I was truly taken in by your words. "Can you imagine going 18 years without a bell?" Wow.. can you imagine being free to enjoy what is NOW, rather than waiting.... and waiting.... for the end? Thank you for sharing.
There is an issue of children "growing up too fast," that boggles mainstream parents, and this waiting to grow up and get on with your life thing is one of the seeds of this issue. They're not really growing up too fast, they're just so anxious to be done with their miserable childhoods that they will do anything to get through it - not growing up, but pretending to. Playing at being a grownup. Only without the knowledge or sense of responsibility required to actually be a grownup. And rather than give them that knowledge, parents are quick to feed this weird childish version of adulthood. (Bratz dolls anyone?)
Heather, that is an interesting idea. That is totally what I was doing as a kid.
On the flip side, homeschoolers are accused of over sheltering their kids - told they will be babyish dependent and clueless.
But it all flips again. Because kids raised by adults (as opposed to kids in packs raising each other) tend to think and act more like adults. So these sheltered homeschooled kids turn out to be calm, more secure, and free thinking. I hear that one thing over and over and over again - "Wow, your kids speak like adults. Your kids are so calm. It is so easy to be around your kids." My kids are not perfect, by any measure. But they are calm. They rarely ever fight. And they are REASONABLE. They can reason for themselves. They respond to reason. They speak reasonably. And I suppose, my point in the op is just this: their life is reasonable, not something to endure but something to enjoy. They are In Here as opposed to Going Somewhere. Ha, a bumpersticker: Homeschoolers Are Going Nowhere
Irony, all over the place.
Oh K, how I love that: Homeschoolers are going nowhere.
We are where we are. We'll be somewhere else whenever we're there.
How about a kid in puberty who can sleep as much as his/her body requires? (Maybe that's the whole reason my boys are 6'5"? I should have woke them up earlier, lol.)
A self formed in solitude is what I come back to over and over as truth. The freedom to be yourself cannot be overrated.
You know I love yous. V
A self formed in solitude is what I come back to over and over as truth. The freedom to be yourself cannot be overrated. ~V
yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes
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